Sometimes Failure Happens

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Just putting it simply, I failed.

Talking about failure is never easy, and most of us don’t ever want to admit it when it happens.

But it does. My question for you is, have you ever stopped and looked at your failures?

I have a strong feeling that if you took a step back and looked at the places in life that didn’t go as you expected, you would see that you adapted. You might have noticed that it was a good thing.

Recently, I have started to realize that even though life throws some pretty crappy things your way, through all the twists and turns you have gone through in life, it has led you right to where you are right now.

Put another way, without failures; you wouldn’t be where you are today.

Well, let’s get to what this post is about and some of my failures.

all-the-feelings-of-stress
Failures can take on many different feelings

My Failures

As I’m writing this, I realize that it will be out in the world to read.

Honestly, it’s not something I want to mention, but I think it’s good to get them out there.

This can bring up a lot of different emotions. It’s important to realize that we all have failures, and sometimes it’s helpful to see what others have gone through. And what better way to get started than sharing my own.

If you already know me or have read this blog, you might already know some of these things. But, I’m going to list them in no particular order.

  • I have failed numerous tests (in school, work, trying to advance, and so on)
  • Speaking of that, I attended two Police Academies because of failing a test (by one question might I add)
  • Relationships
  • Going through a divorce (something I vowed would never happen)
  • Starting my own business
  • Trying to start a blog (Wilde Escape isn’t my first blog)
  • Failing my October 2021 challenge I put out there
  • One of the hardest things I’ve done is leaving a career in law enforcement.

Quick side note

You might be thinking that leaving law enforcement was a decision. And I would agree with you.

What you might not realize is that it’s a very demanding and challenging job to do.

I will try and not talk about it too much, but I think you can imagine that it’s not a job you are thanked for very often.

And for me, it was something I had wanted to do since I was six years old.

Everything I did was to achieve that goal in life. I worked years at getting that job. I also attended two police academies (which is no simple task).

I have applied to so many departments you would think I was crazy.

The exciting part is that I ended up getting hired by a few of them, made good money, and what did I do? I give it all up.

Then when you get the job.

You deal with people and families at their worst, arrest parents, deal with constantly evolving situations, countless hours of paperwork, missing out on time with your family, knowing that today could be your last, the list goes on.

So although it was my decision. I left on good terms and could start applying again if I wanted.

Over the last two years, I have started looking at the positive side of things, which is not always easy.

My-October-Challenge-Calendar
My actual calendar for the challenge

The October 2021 challenge

Yes, I got on a bit of a tangent there. But hey, it’s my blog!

I’m sure you saw that I listed failing the October challenge above as well.

So no, I didn’t forget to share why I’m calling it a failure.

I didn’t achieve the goal I wanted to accomplish. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you can read the post here.

Trying to stay on task, I kept track of everything I discarded (using Google Docs).

Looking at the image of my calendar, I got most of the month done. But I missed three days which was a total of 85 items.

But flip that around. That means I removed 411 items! Which is awesome!

Finding the silver lining

I have to give credit to my Mum for this one. She is someone that constantly looks for the silver lining. Sometimes it’s something you don’t want to hear, but looking back at it, I’m grateful for her constant positive outlook.

So building on that, failing isn’t always a bad thing.

You might think I’m crazy for saying that, but take a look at the failures in your life. I gave you some of mine, and guess what? If I didn’t fail at all of those things, I wouldn’t be here writing this post. On my website!

So thanks, Mum, for helping me to always find the silver lining in everything.

Once you start doing this, you too will begin to look for the positive things in life.

Being comfortable with failure

I can’t remember where I read this, but I liked a quote from Peter McWilliams.

“Be comfortable with being uncomfortable”

This is not something easy to do. I’m sure it will take a lifetime to achieve it, but it’s so true.

comfort-with-a-french-bulldog
Okay, I couldn’t help but share this picture. Talk about being comfortable!

What I’ve learned

I have a few lessons that I have learned from all of this.

Going back to the 30-day challenge example from above, even though I failed at completing the entire month. I still achieved a huge accomplishment.

Even better, it did what I was hoping it would do. It’s started the momentum of starting my minimalist journey.

As for the other “Failures” I’ve had. Well, I think they have made me stronger.

  • I have worked hard at removing the stress from my life.
  • I’m getting more sleep now than I have in years.
  • I’ve found new passions along the way.

The biggest one is that I want to start my own business again! I had done it before and failed, but I remember what happened, have a much better plan, and am ready to build it.

Life has a funny way of throwing some crazy curveballs. It might suck now, but looking back and learning from these times is all you need to get back on the path you want to be on.

Have any comments about this post?
Let me know in the comments below!

break-free-of-the-chain
It’s time we stop focusing on the negative.

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2 thoughts on “Sometimes Failure Happens”

  1. It was courageous for you to write on this subject. Anyone who reads this blog will feel your honesty.
    I do not know if I could allow myself to be this vulnerable out in the world wide web.

    I believe that if we stop failing, it is because we have stopped trying.

    I agree with that that although it is difficult to accept at the time, stumbling blocks allow us to adapt and grow. It builds character and makes us stronger. It may leave a scar, but we earned it, like a badge of honor.

    All that said, it really does suck. Especially the larger failures we experience, when a great deal of time and energy has been invested.

    Never have I even considered making a list of my failures. You are more brave than me.
    I do try to be positive [thanks for the shout out] while still acknowledging life’s hardships.
    Everyone has struggled with a test/class. More devastating are relationships. My heart breaks for you having to go through a divorce despite your commitment and best efforts.

    Thank you for sharing about your career in law enforcement.
    That is a topic that you could write a novel about. It would take that many words to give a reader a peek at what it is to live that life. You had a life-long passion to achieve the goal of keeping your community safe. From the Bachelors Degree you earned, to enduring two police academies, you never gave up.

    About the academy. You were so proud when you were hired and sent to the academy! The challenges were so much more than I expected, but you learned and pushed through, and almost made it to graduation. One written test. One additional question. That was the end. You were devastated.

    What truly shocked me was what you did next.

    My tenacious son decided to pay his own way though a second academy while working a full-time job!

    Not only that, but you were successful. That was an AWESOME accomplishment!
    I honestly do not know how you did it. Months of only a couple hours of sleep a night on top of the mental and physical challenges of the academy. Add to that, your job was demanding and high-risk so you had to be vigilant.

    Considering all of that and more, it is understandable how difficult the decision was for you to leave law enforcement.
    It was not just a job … it was a career.
    You were passionate about making the world a better place. Community Policing is where your heart was.
    Unfortunately, the real world offers other things like mental illness, and civil unrest.
    Most people don’t go to work knowing there is a possibility they may die.

    Add to that, the stress and exhaustion that comes from working 12 hour shifts.
    Often working more than a week at a time without a day off. So much mandatory Over Time.
    There has to be a way for our society to take better care of our officers.

    I want to thank you for your service to the communities you served.
    I know you made a difference in more lives than you realize.

    Also, kudos for knowing when it was enough.
    Now you can get a full night’s sleep every night. And, have days off that you can actually enjoy and plan ahead.
    It has been such a relief to watch you have a healthy life again.

    This may be the longest “comment” in blog history.
    I feel like I could write a novel on this topic alone. My hope is that my words give a glimpse of what I am trying to convey.

    Reply
    • Thanks for the comment! It’s also nice knowing that at least someone read it; as always, thanks, Mum!

      I think it’s important to remember that we all have scars. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you are, how you were raised, and so on. Let’s be honest. Sometimes scars are reminders of some pretty cool times (like on my collar bone).

      And life is tough, but we genuinely do grow with it. Having the academy failure (something I didn’t share), I was less than a month from graduation. It was awful. But, instead of feeling sorry, it’s an example of figuring out what you want — then doing it.

      I figure if my story will help others, then it’s worth putting it all out there. This was just a brief glimpse of what I have done and gone through. But the point is to keep going, be better than yesterday. And as my previous Chief would say, “Go Do.”

      Reply

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